cloudy with a chance of scattered thoughts

i sorted through more scattered thoughts poured onto college ruled paper in an hour than i had in five years of elementary school day dreaming.  writing love, writing hope, written desperation that sank quietly between the lines, getting lost in the larynx as my fingers were to weak to tap those nine easy numbers that never reached anyone anyway.  what is a phone call anymore but an excuse to defend our beating hearts against one another?  i was lost in a world even more lost than i am now in something that was never a reality and never a hope but always a light burning bright inside of me singeing an escape route right through my circle of trust that had long been broken by series of unfortunate events.  i held on so dearly to hope and beauty just the way a little girl reveled at the sun with fifty five pounds of gratitude when she didn’t get the spoonful of honey she had craved.  whispers of “thank you” still float around even though chaos never subsides.  there is a thank you i love you i hear you i will never leave you waiting to be accepted and there is a passion and a truth still waiting to have the age old dust of deception curiously brisked off.  i whisk the scattered thoughts into a box soon to be recycled into something new something more beautiful that is a blank page hungry for truth but more so an opportunity for god to bleed his own ink instead. invisibly, visibly, cautiously, pertinently.  with haste and patience.  i feel my skin and its  still changing.  i touch my heart and it still beats.  i see my eyes and there is still innocence.